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02/18/2006 Entry: "Dangerous"

Dangerous

A reader from Salt Lake City (who did not sign her email) writes:


Dr Fabulous:
Aren't you upset that you didn't make David Horowitz's 101 Most Dangerous Professors list?

Dear Reader:
Yes. I'm really upset. I'm steaming. I kicked a can this morning!
I know VV has called Sirc "The Most Dangerous Man in Composition," but I'm pretty dangerous too! I mean, just dig these rhymes I wrote on the way to the gas station this morning:


My rhymes are fantastic
Elastic
Not spastic
They stretch around you like plastic
Arrive at your front door
Like a fruit basket

No way you want your kids in my writing course! I also wear jeans to class. And I blog!

Now, if the issue is you have to first be tenured to be dangerous, then, of course, I'm still pretty safe. But I still plead my case!
Still - just a few names I have learned are on the list:

  • Mark Ellis, Baylor University
  • Miriam Cooke, Duke University
  • Laurie Brand, University of Southern California

    I don't know who any of these people are! How dangerous can they be! Have they wrestled a turtle with their bare hands? Have they used non-Western bathroom facilities? Have they earned the scorn of WPA-L? Have they left a comment at The Blogora? No siree.
    But Dr. Fabulous, now there's a name all over the Internet. 11 million hits via dear Google. And someone thinks I'm a dentist. Man, there are few folks more dangerous than dentists. Ever see Marathon Man?

    So - I suppose I still have work to do, more rhymes to write, places to go, people to see, papers to grade, beers to drink.....uh....where was I?

    UPDATE:
    Madlib sent me an email to remind me of some choice rhymes I penned (and he took) one weekend when we were working the boards in L.A.


    I'm so dangerous that it's scary
    I got more talk
    Than Harry
    Reasoner, you heard it here
    Park your car, get out your beer
    60 Minutes of me making you fear
    The ultimate attack, like dirt against Blue Cheer

    Man, I don't remember that.

    Replies: 3 comments

    Oh, wait. Not Tommy. My bad.

    Posted by jenny @ 02/18/2006 02:44 PM EST

    And Tommy.

    Posted by jenny @ 02/18/2006 02:40 PM EST

    "Man, there are few folks more dangerous than dentists."

    Yeah, word. Little Shop of Horrors too.

    Posted by Clancy @ 02/18/2006 01:35 PM EST

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